Day one

Life right now is very hectic. My husband is not with me and I am the only parent for the summer. Trying to run the household, run the bills, work and still give the girls what they need is proving to be more tough than it has been in years past. So far, I have been able to keep things together and even get the house cleaned back up. Suffering from depression these last couple of years has not helped. It has been easier to retreat to my room, sleep and not have to deal with things. It is interesting that now that I have to, I am fighting with my grief and keeping it down. I do not allow it to come up, though at times it is hard to fight the tears. I want my husband to be home, but I know that where he is right now is where he is meant to be, where he has to be and that when the time is right, he will be home to us. I want to keep the summer as normal as possible for the girls. I want to go to the movies, to shop, to the beach, to do our girlie things as much as possible while still trying to work. Since the two older girls have returned from their trip with the church, they have started helping me with the house. I cooked dinner for them tonight. It felt good doing it. I am not a very good cook, so I was very proud of myself doing this. I hope to do this more often. I organized our closets in my bedroom today which was quite an undertaking. I then cleaned the whole kitchen which felt good. I feel like I am starting to get a handle on this. I am hoping that the summer will go by very fast and that we will not have time to stop and miss him. I just look forward to the day that my family is once again whole, together and happy. Through prayers and god, we will make it through this.....