Life

School, house, life...I am not sure which way to turn any more. I have been fighting depression more and more lately. I look at what my house looks like and just retreat to my room and watch tv to go to that mindless place. I love my girls, they are great, make straight A's, they are involved in school and church with the arts. I am so proud of them, but around the house, they only do what they need to do when they need to. I have given to them everything they need and want. I know what people will say, take things from them, ground them, etc...well that works for awhile, and they straighten up, then right back where it started. I am having a hard time dealing with everything, catching up and just having energy. I love my husband, but his answer is to just suck it up and deal with it. Well that is not an answer. I use to suck stuff up, was very a type personality in cleaning and keeping things in order, but then with 4 other people in the house, I can not keep up. I hurt 24/7. I do not know which way to turn. I want to be out of pain, to be like I was in England. Always going and being happy. I have headaches almost every day. When I work 3 days in a row, I am in pain the next day and sometimes the next. I am not sure what my family wants, but I just wish they could be in my body, to feel the pain and the aches that I feel. I know the answer is not to go into myself, but sometimes it is so much easier that way. My husband just thinks it is my eating habits, or my hormones or etc. It is what it is, I have fibromylgia and it hurts. People who do not understand it or have knowledge of it just do not understand how much the effort is to just get out of bed, to work....I just want to stop hurting inside and out....